The One Where I Say I’m Going To Do Things, Then I Don’t

Ya’ll. I told myself I would be blogging regularly once December rolled around. I’d have a long editorial calendar, ideas for months, and inspiration flowing out of my fingertips. 

Instead, I’ve been monitoring breathing treatments for my coughing kiddo, working odd hours, and fretting over how often I should be vacuuming in order to stay on the “responsible adult” spectrum. 

In short, it’s not working. I’ve yet to find a system that helps me stay on top of my website and content and all the other stuff upon which writers are supposed to stay on top. And this, I’ve decided, must become part of my charm or it will constantly be the thorn in my flesh that reminds me of all the ways I am organizationally inept. 

So, yes, it’s something I’m working on, but it’s also not something that I will make any promises about.  Same with sending Christmas cards (or any snail mail, for that matter), decorating for any holiday other than Christmas, and folding clothes straight out of the dryer. 

I know–they’re small things, they take little to no effort, and yet I find it almost impossible to do them.

And that’s FINE. So completely fine. 

In fact, here’s a list of nine things that I’ve given myself permission to be terrible at:

  1. Making the bed when I get out of it. (I might make it before I get back in.) 
  2. Putting my shoes away. (Boots by the door, sneakers in the kitchen, flip flops in the living room…)
  3. Cleaning the kitchen as I cook. (Have you really cooked if there isn’t a giant stack of dishes?)
  4. Texting people back. (This is a timing thing. I need to learn how to mark texts as “unread” until I respond to them.) 
  5. Getting rid of my kiddo’s old toys and clothes. (To be fair, she fights me every step on this one.)
  6. Taking glasses into the kitchen when I’m done with them. (I wait until there’s no room left on my nightstand for a new glass.) 
  7. Christmas shopping. (Is it seriously almost Christmas? I swear it was October like ten minutes ago.) 
  8. Sending letters. (How hard is it to drop a note in the mail, Kaela?!)
  9. Finding matching socks. (It is what it is.)

And you know what? All of this is okay. Because I can’t do everything or be everything. These are all things I’m willing to let go of so that I can place my focus on things like writing, or being a good mom, or making delicious food, or just not being stressed. 

As we’re wrapping up 2018, a lot of people will make resolutions to do more. What if, instead of making a list of things we’re going to do, we made a list of things we’re no longer going to feel bad about not doing?

If you took a few things off your plate–some expectations, a few unnecessary responsibilities, a couple ideas of how things “should” be done–what could you replace them with? 

Maybe more reading? More stress-free family time? Less self-judgement? More time to sit and drink your coffee while it’s hot?


Okay, I won’t get too crazy, but you see what I’m getting at. You have my list. I’m letting myself off the hook in 2019 and I hope you’ll join me. Less focus on being the best, healthiest, most present versions of ourselves in 2019 and let everything else go. 

You in? 

Are you on my email list? No!? If you sign up, you’ll be in on the early release of my first book Rupture and Repair coming March 2019. It’s a collection of poetry and I’m really excited to get it into your hands. Sign up or you’ll miss it! (You might be able to snag a free copy, too. I know how you love free things.) 


  1. Daring to Dream it

    I’m really bad at putting my shoes away and the only reason my clothes get put away after being washed is, I don’t dry my clothes in the dryer, I am afraid they might shrink. So they get hung to dry. That’s one of the reasons I really really really want an outdoor clothes line!

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